Chances are you’ve been spending just a wee bit more time at home these days. “Dining out” is a foreign term and your comfy pants are starting to fall apart (no judgment.) Whether you’ve been at home with the entire family or Netflix and chilling with your dog for the last 6 months (holy mother of….it’s been 6 months) the act of going out and socializing can seem intimidating, confusing and honestly, downright exhausting.
But fret no more, my friend. Here are a few tips to make that social interaction a bit more 2019 ‘ish and a bit less 2020. Also, here is my sweet little disclaimer reminding you that I am not a mental health professional and these are simply just ideas to get you back on track with your social game. Consider consulting with a mental health professional to help guide you through particularly difficult times. No shame in that!
1. Protect Your Energy
I promise I’m not sitting here surrounded with crystals and incense as I write this (although I do keep rose quartz at my bedside.) But truly: Protect your energy. Before saying “yes” to any type of plan or interaction, make sure that it’s with someone you actually want to see. We didn’t need a global pandemic to give us permission to start saying “no” to situations or people that don’t suit us (see The Art Of Saying “No.” )
2. Don’t Overpack Your Schedule
I call this “going from 0 to 1,000 (and I am quite guilty of such behavior.) My husband and I literally did not leave the apartment for months, except for my grocery trips. So, naturally, where does one go when one hasn’t been in civilization for months on end?
Harry Potter World, of course.
Ok, ok. We actually had the best day I’ve had during quarantine when we spontaneously went to visit Hagrid but that was a one off circumstance! Start slowly and choose one or two days a week to make plans with friends. Social exhaustion is a real thing, you guys, and if 2020 didn’t make that remarkably clear, then I don’t know what would. This is also coming from an ambivert who loves nothing more than “me” time. If you’re a true extrovert in every sense of the word, this may not apply to you.
3. Remember That Your Friends Are on Your Side
Ever felt like you were going to vomit before an audition or a presentation? Ah, nerves. They’re cute, aren’t they?
One thing that I always tell myself before an audition or interview is that they want me to do well. Your friend wants to see you and wants you to feel comfortable while spending time with them. I know it may sound crazy comparing an outdoor happy hour to an audition but when you have anxiety you know that it can present itself in any situation. Your friend is here for you and they want you to do well!
4. Don’t Drink Too Much
This applies before and during your hangout sesh. Many of us are incredibly vulnerable right now and though a glass of wine can be helpful, five maybe not so much. Alcohol is a depressant and though one minute you may be feeling chill and in control, that chill feeling can quickly turn into an anxious episode of spiraling thoughts. Besides, this is your chance to escape and relax. You don’t need to be worrying about tomorrow or the fact that you’re still furloughed and have no idea what you’re doing in life. Also, spoiler alert: none of us do. You’re good, my friend. Carry on!
5. Be a Good Listener
You know what people love almost as much as they love seeing you? Talking about themselves. There, I said it. People love talking about themselves. And it’s ok! It’s human nature. Talking about ourselves releases dopamine (that feel good chemical in our brains.) What better way to take some of the load off of sharing your feelings than letting someone else talk about theirs. I believe that a key aspect of every successful relationship is listening. Always be a good listener: And really listen. Don’t just agree with everything and continue enjoying your feta fries (can you tell I’m craving Greek?) Listen and you’ll have so much to respond to that you won’t even want the night to end. See?! Socializing isn’t so scary after all.
I hope that these tips give you a bit of social inspiration and remind you that you are not alone in feeling anxious about seeing your humans again. Social butterflies I know have even admitted to feeling strange about the idea of socializing with someone other than their partner again.
One day at a time. Do what feels right for you. Never feel guilty about saying “no” and just enjoy getting back out there when the time is right.
Happy socializing! Don’t forget your mask.
